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Stop Resisting - Look for the Open Door

29 September 2015

I recall a time in my career when the leadership changed and in my mind it was my time to step into a leadership role, but that didn’t happen. I was passed over for someone else and felt bruised and angry. At the time I certainly made noise about the situation to the leadership team that perhaps was not the smartest move and took a week out of the business to lick my wounds, perhaps a little over-reactive but none the less I was suffering from thwarted expectations and was totally disappointed. The words of a song come to mind…… “What about me it isn’t fair…”
Sometimes life just doesn’t flow to meet our expectations and often it’s a good thing. At the time it didn’t feel good, it felt like I’d lost the war and I left with baggage. I moved to a new part of the organisation, was promoted and felt much more loved over the top of resentment and anger. Five months later the department I left was sold and if I hadn’t moved out I would have been moved out of the company as part of the sale. In that moment my anger and baggage dissipated and I realised that I really only lost a battle but won the war. Sometimes we just don’t know what lies around the corner. It’s been one of life’s greatest lessons and since then there have been many occasions where things have not gone my way but I have learnt to be less reactive and go more with the flow, stop resisting and the outcomes have been mostly positive. Some thoughts to help you to flow more and resist less -
  1. It’s NOT personal – in times of change we often feel it’s personal but it’s not, particularly in business. A business needs to run efficiently and effectively. Often decisions are made for the good health of the business but we interpret them way more personally. Sometimes “it just is what it is” and we are best to get that place of acceptance fast and focus our energy on personal positive outcomes for ourselves whether it is to get on with the day to day function or make a personal change. Don’t stand still and dwell in disappointment and upset it will not move the situation forward. 
  2. See things from the other side – I know in my situation above the only lens I viewed the world was that of my own personal agenda which was a very biased view. At times when you are gripped and feel things are not going your way I recommend spending a moment to see how things are perceived on the other side. Think about the challenges and issues people on the other side are dealing with. This often sheds a different understanding and appreciation.  
  3. Create an Opportunity – as stated in 1. Above “it just is what it is”. When you can get to this place then the next step is to powerfully create opportunity. In my story above I looked for a new role within the organisation. No matter what your situation is there will be options of new opportunity you can embrace and positively impact your life.