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What's Holding You Back? Could it be Your Fear?

07 March 2011

Since I started discussing the Five Fears in this blog, you've had several months to think about the fears that could be holding you back from achieving what you want in life. We've already discussed the first Four Fears; now you're probably been wondering what Fear Number Five could be.

To recap previous posts, here are the first Four Fears that may resonate with you:

Fear Number One: The Fear of Failure

Fear Number Two: The Fear of Rejection

Fear Number Three: The Fear of Success

Fear Number Four: The Fear of Not Being Good Enough

So what's Fear Number Five? It's the Fear of Being Alone.

Fear of Being Alone

This fear is a huge one. This is the fear that keeps us in bad relationships, unsatisfactory work environments, the fear that keeps us from doing what we really want to do simply because we want to fit in with the group or maintain the status quo.

Your 'group' may be a collection of old friends whom you used to enjoy spending time with and now find yourself pulling away from them; your close family members with whom you feel you 'should' agree and please because they are family; a workgroup with whom you have difficulty seeing eye-to-eye or just one person with whom you are in a relationship. If you take that first step to make a change, to assert your own needs and preferences, to reach for what you really want for yourself, you may alienate that person or that 'group' of people. You fear that you may end up Alone.

Do your friends or family mean well but always seem to sabotage your attempts to make improvements in your life that will give you less time with them? Worse than that, maybe you stay in a bad or abusive relationship because you don't want to be alone. Maybe you think 'better the devil you know than the devil you don't'? Maybe you hang out with some people whom you know you really don't approve of their lifestyle, but they are the only friends you have. Or maybe you stay in your current work environment because you don't think anyone else will hire you? So much is to do with your own self-esteem and the fear of being Alone.

Of all the Five Fears that have been discussed, which one is the one that is holding YOU back?

Once you have identified your fears, it's time to start diffusing them and get your thoughts flowing in a positive direction. The first thing to do is to gain clarity into specifically what is the REAL issue that is holding you back. Once you acknowledge the cause of what may create real or imagined fears, then you can begin to take steps to remove the cause and conquer those fears. You can start to live the life you deserve whether you believe you deserve it or not. Always remember that you owe it to yourself to be the best you can be. Make the most of your life - there is so much that you can do!

Let me leave you today with this wonderful quote:

\"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be?\" Marianne Williamson

Jane Jackson is a Senior Consultant at Drake International (Recruitment Services) and Director of Style Success, coaching for success. For more information visit www.stylesuccess.biz or contact jane@stylesuccess.biz

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